I had an opportunity to attend what was to be a “graduation” after a weekend self-improvement workshop that turned out to be a recruitment session. Basically, all workshop attendees were to bring family and friends so we can listen to an infomercial and sign up for the next workshop.

Let me first say, I think it is great that people have outlets such as this to learn how to overcome challenges, improve self confidence, and gain the tools to “live an extraordinary life” as this group advertises. Additionally, I admit that the message I heard was not disturbing in anyway. However, it was misleading.

The facilitator or leader referenced past experiences being the decision making engine several times as the reason people cannot move forward and accomplish their goals. He talked about being in the “now” and let the past go.
Well, I have a fundamental issue with this message as stated. We  are a completion of our past experiences and if we have done a good job of learning from our experiences then we would be in the best place we can be in the “now”. It is true that we must live in the “here and now”, this moment is all we have. The main purpose to live in the here and now is to be aware of what is taking place around us or within us. Therefore, we have the opportunity to learn from the experience. If we are not aware, the moment will  pass with  some diluted set of emotions that we don’t know what they mean. These emotions often charge our actions or lack of action. Since our actions this moment are based on what we had experienced in the past, our lack of awareness will lead us to a life of “why are things happening to me this way?”.
It is the awareness that is important. Not only being aware of external events, but more importantly how the external events make us feel. This awareness leads to learning and choosing how we may respond. The question is “who we choose to be”, then   the tool is how we choose to respond to others and events to keep true to who we want to be.

This is what Free Will is all about. With that, we carry the responsibility of our choices.  If you don’t know yet, let me tell you that we don’t control anyone else but ourselves. Take this from a “Type A” person that I am. Those of you that are parents, news flash, you don’t control your kids, or those of you that have staff working for you…you don’t control your staff either. The only person you can control is you. Therefore, a true self-awareness gives us the tools and courage to control our actions, thoughts, and therefore, the possibility that others can see us as we intend to be.

The message that I found to be a misconception at this workshop was that  we need to let the past go  . we don’t let the past go, as we are nothing without our past; we let the now to come and use our past experiences to insure that we are relating to the now not from the past experiences perspective, but from all that we have learned that bring us to the now.

Future has not come yet, so I focus on today to be prepared for future. All that matters now is that I am here and experience life as it is to be today.

Shohreh Rostami