Tag Archives: Purpose

Who is in charge?

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Today I received a text message from a client of mine that said, “I just got some very disturbing news at 8:20 am that my nephew committed suicide in my parent’s pool early this morning”. And last month I received a text message from a friend that one of the managers we both knew at a company we had worked for had committed suicide, a young man in his early 30s.

It’s these types of events that strengthen my belief that complexity in social trends is draining the personal power, leaving people feeling powerless and anxious. The Struggles due to social expectations and pressure, bad marriage, finances, or job leave us vulnerable and lead to feeling victimized! The first step in recovery is to understand feeling victimized is a choice. Yes, a choice. The missing ingredient in most cases is the ability to push back on self-loathing thoughts. Take every experience as a learning opportunity and put the outcome to use to moving forward. Let us recognize that feeling secure does not mean to be egotistic, selfish, self-centered, or a bully. It has nothing to do with money, luxury and status. Feeling insecure doesn’t happen suddenly, it happens over a long period of time.

So, how can you reclaim your sense of security and empowerment? Stop giving away your power! You don’t have to please everyone. You don’t have to be what others want you to be. Be who you are. You will accomplish much more as you than as the image what others want you to be. Your feeling of self-worth will increase, and you will start appreciating you, as you are today at this moment. This doesn’t mean you don’t evolve or change, it means you will evolve and change with your set of experiences.

In the quest for self-empowerment we must seek mental adulthood. Our physical being has no choice to grow to adulthood, but psychological adulthood is not given, takes focus and work. How many people have you met in your lifetime that you may have commented ‘boy, he/she is 40 year going on 14’? Adulthood comes slowly, we mature with experiences and as our ability to digest information and process them strengthens over time we develop our core-self. Our core-self is the author of our life story; this idea is opposite of being a victim, who lives a life authored by others. Ask yourself, who’s in charge of my life?

— Shohreh

You can Transform Your Life

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Managing fear is key in achieving successful transformational change in our lives. This includes fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of change, or even fear of fear itself. This is especially true when making bold changes, the kind that could take you to a whole new level of living, or, out of a paralyzing tailspin. The bolder the change, the bigger the fear, as fear is our resistance to change.

So how do you manage deep resistance to big change? Make a deliberate move to alter the direction of your life. This requires managing the present, selectively forgetting the past, and creating a future. To manage the present, you must live in the moment. Be present each and every minute and experience the events as they unfold. Selectively forget the past experiences that have a negative narration such as regret, guilt, and despair. And focus on the future you desire. In doing so you allow your mind to enter the creative zone and have the ability to create the future you deserve.

Shohreh

Purpose

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“Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside us.” said Oliver Wendell Holmes.

Living in a world that consistently tells us who to be we struggle to find who we are, to be ourselves and lead an authentic life. Being true to ourselves means we have to first recognize who we are, and to know who we are we have to find our purpose.  Our purpose is what defines us, makes us different and separates us from others. What we do is not who we are, but what define us is our brand, is the music within and the source of our passion. It is what we cannot help but to be. My job has been leading teams in large organizations driving results, but who ‘I am’ is about “leaving each life I touch better than when I found it”, so who I am is “a steward of awakening”, that is what drives me.

How do you find your purpose? By letting go of what you are told to be, look within to discover what your essence is, your most challenging experiences in life and how they shaped you, and what you enjoy doing today that helps you rejoice and sing your song.  This is easier said than done in a world that constantly pushes us in a box that we feel we need to conform to, so fight the urge to conform. Purpose defines us and integrity shapes us, so live your life as you were born to live it, with purpose and integrity.

I have always told my two wonderful children to discover and be happy with whom you are. Don’t be anyone but yourself and find your strength in your uniqueness. It has not come easy but now that they are young adults they have very strong foundation within that guides each of their steps. The peer pressures that cause most youngsters to follow paths less conducive to their happiness and success seem to have no impact on my two young adults. Similarly, I give the same message to those that I coach and lead, and have noticed that it is a challenge for them as an adult to even allow themselves to acknowledge who they really are; and trust their essence in finding the strength in their uniqueness and to be better than they had ever thought they could be. Unleashing the true self and digging deep in finding the music within is the journey I like to take people on.

If you dare to find the music within and sing your song I recommend to create your purpose statement, clearly explain your purpose, set a long term goals of 5 years, set short term goals of 2-3 years, then set 1 year goals; make your actions purposeful and specific, and at last, map out your immediate tactics, 6, 3, 2, 1 month, and weekly.  Be very specific and purposeful in mapping out your actions. You need to identify your support system and communicate what you need from them and how they can support you. This is not an easy task by any means; find a coach or a mentor that can guide you through this journey.

Let your music be heard by all and it will be the legacy you leave behind, the very thing that everyone will miss if you are not around. It will be your gift to the world and those closest to you that you love.